You may have noticed that this blog page has changed a tiny bit. The banner below the title used to read "News and pictures from Steve, Heidi, Anna and Seth". What I realized is that no one checks this blog to find out that news. In fact, most people who want to know what's going on with us either email, call, or check Facebook. What I decided that I really need here is a place to share my thoughts; with myself or whoever else might be interested. Specifically, I want to focus on the challenges of not only being a wife and mom, but an Army wife and working mom. I decided to leave the title the same because for me it captures the idea that I am a person with an identity tied to my past, whose identity is now constantly challenged and has shifted in some sense with the various moves and places we have lived thanks to this Army life.
That being said, it sounds like I may soon be changing the title to "Oregon Girl in Kansas". Yep, it looks like we're moving again. Not that it should be any surprise; we've been here in Colorado for three whole years after all. Steve has now been invited to take over a larger recruiting station in Hutchinson, KS, the government wheels are in motion, and it appears that the OK will soon go through. How do I feel about this? Mostly excited but with some regret and nervousness. The regret is because I have found it takes about three years to really get settled in a place and start to feel like it is home. That is what is happening right now for me in Durango. I never really liked this place, but with my new teaching job, it has started to grow on me. I've made more friends, built more connections, and the roots have started to descend. Just in time to rip them out and replant! The nervousness has everything to do with my kids. I, myself, am not nervous to move. I love the idea of visiting new places, seeing new things, meeting new people, and having new adventures. My kids, however, are not as keen as me; understandably so. I had a hard enough time in school making friends and I was in the same place for most of my life. Fortunately, my kids make friends easily and seem to adjust quickly. But this still doesn't prevent a mom from being sad and nervous for her kids at the thought of leaving what is (sort of) familiar to them and having to start over.
Because of the news that we're probably moving in July, I've been going through the familiar dance of living in two places - one in my mind and one in the physical. I imagine what it will be like in our new place; the job, the schools, the house, the friends. At the same time, I walk around a bit like a zombie in my current place, trapped between here and there. I think this must be my defense mechanism; slowly detach myself from the current place by imagining the great stuff to come. Steve and I have already been looking at houses on line and there are a lot of affordable places in Kansas, unlike here in CO. We may even go out to KS one weekend soon to look at houses. This is just one more reason for me to daydream about what is to come. Hopefully, I don't get too caught up in these dreams!
To keep myself grounded, I'm posting pictures of a recent hike Steve and I took on the Colorado Trail. It was a pleasant Sunday when the kids were both at friends' houses and we had the whole morning to ourselves. The beauty in Colorado is unmatched, and I know I will miss it. I just hope that I'm able to find the joys of nature in the plains of Kansas.
3 comments:
I feel for you! It must be hard living this way. It sounds like you have figured out a method to deal with the changes, and that you're approaching the changes with a positive attitude -- and that's important!
I'm sure that you recall me talking smack about KS a few weeks ago, and and there's no need for me to vent further my subjective biases; based upon what I've heard about the place and the small sliver of the far NE section of the state that I experienced, I can't imagine myself happy to live there. However, there are some aspects of the natural and cultural history of the region that I am keen to experience first-hand.
One example would be excavations of the animals that used to inhabit this region during the Late Cretaceous period when there was a vast sea between the Rockies and the Appalachians. (The documentary "Sea Monsters" is great.) See: Oceans of Kansas website; "Discovering Dinosaurs & Sea Monsters Ready-Made Adventure" tourist bureau video; The Paleontology Portal.)
There are also a lot of historical things I'd like to see, and I might start with the Kansas Historical Society's web page, or some Indian sites in Kansas (see, for example, these links.)
I also want to tour a decommissioned Minuteman missile silo
A part of me is very jealous of the adventure that you have ahead of you. The older that I get, the more that I realize that the richness in life is about the experiences that you have, the memories that you build and the friends that you meet. You have been able live in so many different parts of the country and meet so many people that your life experience must be priceless. Good luck on the move and if you are in-between homes, we have plenty of room in Spokane for you all to stay. As long as you don't mind a nosy toddler crawling into your bed.
It's funny that I didn't realize the double entendre (not in a risqué sense) of the title I chose until just now. I intended for the title to show that the blog had changed, but it also references the time for change in my life, i.e. moving to Kansas.
James, I appreciate that you refrain from bashing KS more :) I remember your vehement dislike of the place. I am hoping to find it a little more palatable. Especially since I'll be living there for at least three years! I will make an effort to find all the good things about KS and share those with you so that hopefully you can change your perspective.
Rachel, thank you so much for the invite to crash at your place! I can tell you we would love to do so, and wouldn't mind a toddler nosing around at all - been there, done that :) It sounds weird, but I'm jealous of my future self! I'm ready to get out of here and experience all the new stuff waiting for us. I guess it's fortunate that Steve and I have both been touched with the blessing of Wanderlust. I just hope the kids see it as a blessing as well. They both are taking the idea in stride and have started talking about the new place we will be in. I've been instructed by Anna that the next house we have she wants an upstairs bedroom, and both the kids want to live in a neighborhood with other kids. We will try to accommodate!
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